On Tolkien.

(Watching Fellowship of the Rings. Though I've had it on countless times, this was the first that she actually watched it.)

Lily, on......

Hobbits: Are those guys kids? (She fixates on Sam for a moment) Is that a girl? She looks like a girl with girl hair, but sounds like boys do. (Eyes Frodo suspiciously) Do they get married at the end?

Gandalf's fireworks: WHOA! I want some of those! Can we do those sometime? (I tell her that they are wizard fireworks - we might have trouble making them) He's a whizzer? Like Harry Potter? Is Harry on here too?

The One Ring: Okay. So that's a bad ring or a good ring? It looks scary. (Watches ring get thrown in fire, studies Elvish lettering thoughtfully) That's preeeeetty! How'd it do that? I don't think Brodo (Yep.) should give it away.

Black Riders: Why are they chasing those kids everywhere?! I hate that noise they make! RUN KIDS!

Dwarves: Those look like bad guys. (Points to Legolas) I like them better, I wouldn't stand by the dwards.

The Balrog: MY EYES ARE EXPLODING! Ahhhhhh! Mumma, my eyes are exploding all over right now because of that monster. I can't look! (Seconds later, in a matter-of-fact tone..) Hey. He has a whipper. You know, just like Catwoman has. He's using his whipper on that Dumbledorf guy. I like whippers.

Gollum: What's wrong with that guy? He's bad. Is he going to get the good guys? Why's he following them in the caves? They should all turn around and push him down one of the holes.

Arwen: I like her the best. She's magic. I'm gonna be her right now, okay? (Prances around the room, grabbing her fairy tiara and wand) PSSSSSH! I turned you into a kitty! Say meow!

Gandalf's fall into Moria: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GANONDORF!!!!!!


(She falls asleep as the Fellowship enters Lothlorien. I don't blame her.)