(After spending ten minutes or so playing Mario Kart, Lily suddenly grows very quiet and sets her controller down.)
Lily: Mumma, where did all the people come from? All the people in this town? Before they came to this town, and no one was here, and they were in the other town. And you were in the other town, and now you're here.
Me: Whatcha mean, kiddo? What people are you talking about?
Lily: Well, all of the people. I want to know where they all came from. Um, where did all the people come from? Like ALL the people, who are in this town right now, and came from somewhere else. Where were they all before they were here? I came from your tummy and you came from your mumma's tummy, where did all the other people come from? How did they all get here? What were they doing before they gotted here? And where did the animals came from? From the farm.. Probably cows, and ducks, and horses, and probably cats too like at your Grandpa's farm. How did all those animals get here? Wait, I think they all came from the store. I think the horses and cows and chickens - well, the chickens came from the close thingy where all those thingys were, my dad leaves down this road, and turn like this like an L, and park somewhere and go inside, and there's chickens and ducks.
Me: Go on, I'm listening.
Lily: And I wanna learn about where all the, um, the, um, fans came from. The blowing fans came from the store, too, I think. And oh wait, I know where animals come from. Even outside at my school, there was a big cow. It was there. And sheep! Like Baa Baa Black Sheep! *sings the entire song*
Lily: That might be it. And make you sure put two periods at the end of this, please..
Friday, May 25, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
On Tolkien.
(Watching Fellowship of the Rings. Though I've had it on countless times, this was the first that she actually watched it.)
Lily, on......
Hobbits: Are those guys kids? (She fixates on Sam for a moment) Is that a girl? She looks like a girl with girl hair, but sounds like boys do. (Eyes Frodo suspiciously) Do they get married at the end?
Gandalf's fireworks: WHOA! I want some of those! Can we do those sometime? (I tell her that they are wizard fireworks - we might have trouble making them) He's a whizzer? Like Harry Potter? Is Harry on here too?
The One Ring: Okay. So that's a bad ring or a good ring? It looks scary. (Watches ring get thrown in fire, studies Elvish lettering thoughtfully) That's preeeeetty! How'd it do that? I don't think Brodo (Yep.) should give it away.
Black Riders: Why are they chasing those kids everywhere?! I hate that noise they make! RUN KIDS!
Dwarves: Those look like bad guys. (Points to Legolas) I like them better, I wouldn't stand by the dwards.
The Balrog: MY EYES ARE EXPLODING! Ahhhhhh! Mumma, my eyes are exploding all over right now because of that monster. I can't look! (Seconds later, in a matter-of-fact tone..) Hey. He has a whipper. You know, just like Catwoman has. He's using his whipper on that Dumbledorf guy. I like whippers.
Gollum: What's wrong with that guy? He's bad. Is he going to get the good guys? Why's he following them in the caves? They should all turn around and push him down one of the holes.
Arwen: I like her the best. She's magic. I'm gonna be her right now, okay? (Prances around the room, grabbing her fairy tiara and wand) PSSSSSH! I turned you into a kitty! Say meow!
Gandalf's fall into Moria: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GANONDORF!!!!!!
(She falls asleep as the Fellowship enters Lothlorien. I don't blame her.)
Lily, on......
Hobbits: Are those guys kids? (She fixates on Sam for a moment) Is that a girl? She looks like a girl with girl hair, but sounds like boys do. (Eyes Frodo suspiciously) Do they get married at the end?
Gandalf's fireworks: WHOA! I want some of those! Can we do those sometime? (I tell her that they are wizard fireworks - we might have trouble making them) He's a whizzer? Like Harry Potter? Is Harry on here too?
The One Ring: Okay. So that's a bad ring or a good ring? It looks scary. (Watches ring get thrown in fire, studies Elvish lettering thoughtfully) That's preeeeetty! How'd it do that? I don't think Brodo (Yep.) should give it away.
Black Riders: Why are they chasing those kids everywhere?! I hate that noise they make! RUN KIDS!
Dwarves: Those look like bad guys. (Points to Legolas) I like them better, I wouldn't stand by the dwards.
The Balrog: MY EYES ARE EXPLODING! Ahhhhhh! Mumma, my eyes are exploding all over right now because of that monster. I can't look! (Seconds later, in a matter-of-fact tone..) Hey. He has a whipper. You know, just like Catwoman has. He's using his whipper on that Dumbledorf guy. I like whippers.
Gollum: What's wrong with that guy? He's bad. Is he going to get the good guys? Why's he following them in the caves? They should all turn around and push him down one of the holes.
Arwen: I like her the best. She's magic. I'm gonna be her right now, okay? (Prances around the room, grabbing her fairy tiara and wand) PSSSSSH! I turned you into a kitty! Say meow!
Gandalf's fall into Moria: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GANONDORF!!!!!!
(She falls asleep as the Fellowship enters Lothlorien. I don't blame her.)
Friday, May 4, 2012
Naptime Interlude
4:45 p.m. - Naptime Prep begins.
Me: All right! We have full tummies, aren't thirsty, went potty, and are in comfy clothes; we're ready to get in bed. Need anything?
Lily: No. Actually, yes. I have to go get a soft toy.
(She runs to her bedroom, rummages around for ten minutes, comes back with a gargantuan stuffed bunny.)
Me: Okay. Let's get all covered up and relaxed. If we take a quick nap, you'll be awake by the time Drewdad gets home. And you won't feel so grumpy!
Lily: I don't want to be covered. I hate this blanket. (She kicks it off.) Are these new pillows?
Me: Okay. And no, it's just a new pillowcase. How 'bout you trying laying down and seeing if you can sleep?
Lily: I can't. My eyes are not tired. And the TV is saying I have to stay awake right now. It's MAKING me.
(I turn the TV off.)
Me: Better?
Lily: Yeah. (Tosses and turns uncomfortably for a few minutes before sitting up.) Those window blind things are going crazy. They're making me stay awake too.
(I look over to the one window blind that's rustling, since the window's open an inch or two behind it.)
Me: Well, we might get too hot if I shut the window. Let's just try to ignore it.
Lily: Now I'm really hungry. I'm hungry! Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry... (This turns into a chant.) I want cereal. Just dry cereal to snack on. No, wait. With milk. Go get me milk and cereal.
(I stare at her, bemused - she's just eaten a massive turkey sandwich.)
Me: Honey, you can grab a few handfuls of dry cereal. Then lay down. You just ate, and we can have dinner when you wake up.
Lily: (SIGH) Fine. I'm eating that now. But I want ice cream after I wake up. You SAID I could after I had lunch. You SAID. You have to keep your promises and be trustworthy like at my school.
Me: Maybe if you keep your promise and try to nap. (I wait for fifteen minutes, while she eats frenziedly.) Okay. Let's try again.
5:30 p.m.
Lily: Thirsty! Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty....
Me: ........Your juicebox is right next to you. Take a drink and lie down. I love you, and want you to get some rest! (I re-tuck her in, kiss her forehead, and get settled on the couch nearby.)
Lily: .....My thumb tickles. REALLY BAD. Right under the nail. It tiiiiiiiiiickles! I can't sleep with it. I can't take it anymore! (Tosses and turns, bites at thumb, sits up.) Can you tickle my back?
(Resigned, I sit next to her and tickle her back for twenty minutes. She suddenly burrows under her blankets entirely.)
Lily: I like it under here. I want to pop out and scare Drew when he gets home. I'll scream BOOOO! and you scream BLAAAAAH! And for now I'm just staying under here.
Me: Lil, it's super hot under there. And now you're upside-down. I think you should come out and sleep the right way.
Lily: It is NOT hot. It's FINE. I like it here. I wanna sleep here every night now. (Starts sobbing hysterically)
6:15 p.m.
(I uncover her a little, not without some effort. The crying stops and she giggles.)
Me: Go. To. Sleep. Dad said you got really tired from school and the long car trip, and that it looked like you really needed to nap. I think he was right. We'll make dinner and do your cool bath-paint stuff when you're all done!
Lily: I caaaaan't. I really can't! I don't want any sleep. Not ANY. (She flips onto her back and stares at the ceiling with dinner-plate eyes to prove her point.) I don't hafta take naps at school and I don't wanna take them here, either.
Me: Well, we have to. I'll stay right here and read my book while you sleep. Okay?
(No response. She's out cold.)
Me: All right! We have full tummies, aren't thirsty, went potty, and are in comfy clothes; we're ready to get in bed. Need anything?
Lily: No. Actually, yes. I have to go get a soft toy.
(She runs to her bedroom, rummages around for ten minutes, comes back with a gargantuan stuffed bunny.)
Me: Okay. Let's get all covered up and relaxed. If we take a quick nap, you'll be awake by the time Drewdad gets home. And you won't feel so grumpy!
Lily: I don't want to be covered. I hate this blanket. (She kicks it off.) Are these new pillows?
Me: Okay. And no, it's just a new pillowcase. How 'bout you trying laying down and seeing if you can sleep?
Lily: I can't. My eyes are not tired. And the TV is saying I have to stay awake right now. It's MAKING me.
(I turn the TV off.)
Me: Better?
Lily: Yeah. (Tosses and turns uncomfortably for a few minutes before sitting up.) Those window blind things are going crazy. They're making me stay awake too.
(I look over to the one window blind that's rustling, since the window's open an inch or two behind it.)
Me: Well, we might get too hot if I shut the window. Let's just try to ignore it.
Lily: Now I'm really hungry. I'm hungry! Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry... (This turns into a chant.) I want cereal. Just dry cereal to snack on. No, wait. With milk. Go get me milk and cereal.
(I stare at her, bemused - she's just eaten a massive turkey sandwich.)
Me: Honey, you can grab a few handfuls of dry cereal. Then lay down. You just ate, and we can have dinner when you wake up.
Lily: (SIGH) Fine. I'm eating that now. But I want ice cream after I wake up. You SAID I could after I had lunch. You SAID. You have to keep your promises and be trustworthy like at my school.
Me: Maybe if you keep your promise and try to nap. (I wait for fifteen minutes, while she eats frenziedly.) Okay. Let's try again.
5:30 p.m.
Lily: Thirsty! Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty....
Me: ........Your juicebox is right next to you. Take a drink and lie down. I love you, and want you to get some rest! (I re-tuck her in, kiss her forehead, and get settled on the couch nearby.)
Lily: .....My thumb tickles. REALLY BAD. Right under the nail. It tiiiiiiiiiickles! I can't sleep with it. I can't take it anymore! (Tosses and turns, bites at thumb, sits up.) Can you tickle my back?
(Resigned, I sit next to her and tickle her back for twenty minutes. She suddenly burrows under her blankets entirely.)
Lily: I like it under here. I want to pop out and scare Drew when he gets home. I'll scream BOOOO! and you scream BLAAAAAH! And for now I'm just staying under here.
Me: Lil, it's super hot under there. And now you're upside-down. I think you should come out and sleep the right way.
Lily: It is NOT hot. It's FINE. I like it here. I wanna sleep here every night now. (Starts sobbing hysterically)
6:15 p.m.
(I uncover her a little, not without some effort. The crying stops and she giggles.)
Me: Go. To. Sleep. Dad said you got really tired from school and the long car trip, and that it looked like you really needed to nap. I think he was right. We'll make dinner and do your cool bath-paint stuff when you're all done!
Lily: I caaaaan't. I really can't! I don't want any sleep. Not ANY. (She flips onto her back and stares at the ceiling with dinner-plate eyes to prove her point.) I don't hafta take naps at school and I don't wanna take them here, either.
Me: Well, we have to. I'll stay right here and read my book while you sleep. Okay?
(No response. She's out cold.)
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