Naptime Interlude

4:45 p.m. - Naptime Prep begins.

Me: All right! We have full tummies, aren't thirsty, went potty, and are in comfy clothes; we're ready to get in bed. Need anything?

Lily: No. Actually, yes. I have to go get a soft toy.

(She runs to her bedroom, rummages around for ten minutes, comes back with a gargantuan stuffed bunny.)

Me: Okay. Let's get all covered up and relaxed. If we take a quick nap, you'll be awake by the time Drewdad gets home. And you won't feel so grumpy!

Lily: I don't want to be covered. I hate this blanket. (She kicks it off.) Are these new pillows?

Me: Okay. And no, it's just a new pillowcase. How 'bout you trying laying down and seeing if you can sleep?

Lily: I can't. My eyes are not tired. And the TV is saying I have to stay awake right now. It's MAKING me.

(I turn the TV off.)

Me: Better?

Lily: Yeah. (Tosses and turns uncomfortably for a few minutes before sitting up.) Those window blind things are going crazy. They're making me stay awake too.

(I look over to the one window blind that's rustling, since the window's open an inch or two behind it.)

Me: Well, we might get too hot if I shut the window. Let's just try to ignore it.

Lily: Now I'm really hungry. I'm hungry! Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry... (This turns into a chant.) I want cereal. Just dry cereal to snack on. No, wait. With milk. Go get me milk and cereal.

(I stare at her, bemused - she's just eaten a massive turkey sandwich.)

Me: Honey, you can grab a few handfuls of dry cereal. Then lay down. You just ate, and we can have dinner when you wake up.

Lily: (SIGH) Fine. I'm eating that now. But I want ice cream after I wake up. You SAID I could after I had lunch. You SAID. You have to keep your promises and be trustworthy like at my school.

Me: Maybe if you keep your promise and try to nap. (I wait for fifteen minutes, while she eats frenziedly.) Okay. Let's try again.

5:30 p.m.

Lily: Thirsty! Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty....

Me: ........Your juicebox is right next to you. Take a drink and lie down. I love you, and want you to get some rest! (I re-tuck her in, kiss her forehead, and get settled on the couch nearby.)

Lily: .....My thumb tickles. REALLY BAD. Right under the nail. It tiiiiiiiiiickles! I can't sleep with it. I can't take it anymore! (Tosses and turns, bites at thumb, sits up.) Can you tickle my back?

(Resigned, I sit next to her and tickle her back for twenty minutes. She suddenly burrows under her blankets entirely.)

Lily: I like it under here. I want to pop out and scare Drew when he gets home. I'll scream BOOOO! and you scream BLAAAAAH! And for now I'm just staying under here.

Me: Lil, it's super hot under there. And now you're upside-down. I think you should come out and sleep the right way.

Lily: It is NOT hot. It's FINE. I like it here. I wanna sleep here every night now. (Starts sobbing hysterically)

6:15 p.m.

(I uncover her a little, not without some effort. The crying stops and she giggles.)

Me: Go. To. Sleep. Dad said you got really tired from school and the long car trip, and that it looked like you really needed to nap. I think he was right. We'll make dinner and do your cool bath-paint stuff when you're all done!

Lily: I caaaaan't. I really can't! I don't want any sleep. Not ANY.  (She flips onto her back and stares at the ceiling with dinner-plate eyes to prove her point.) I don't hafta take naps at school and I don't wanna take them here, either.

Me: Well, we have to. I'll stay right here and read my book while you sleep. Okay?

(No response. She's out cold.)