It's been quite a while since I've been able to make a post! The addition of our new Munchkin to the family may have partly contributed to that - Marceline Emilie-Rue arrived on July 29, 2012. And is cute as a button! Or two buttons! Anyway! My oldest Munchkin and I had a pretty interesting conversation tonight.
Lily: *playing Katamari Damacy, and rolling up the Sphinx in the game* Wow, this is a BIG kitty statue.
Me: Yep. That's called the Sphinx. Kinda like a lion. People built them in the desert, a very long time ago. The desert is very far away from here.
Lily: Oh yeah. I know that's far. So people built it a real long time ago?
Me: Uh-huh. Before any of us were born at all. Thousands and thousands of years ago.
Lily: Like when Gramma and Grampa were born?
Me: Even longer than that. Before any of us were here and born.
Lily: Well, where did we all come from? Like, people. Where did they come from before there was no one on the earth?
Me: You're asking hard questions tonight.
Lily: I know. But what HAPPENED? Did you just appear and then have me?
Me: Not really, babe. Remember when we went to Sunday school, and you learned about -
Lily: Where I went with Abby? (Her favorite cousin) When me and Abby played there?
Me: Yeah, that one. Remember how they taught you about God there, and God making the earth?
Lily: Ohhhhh YEAH! That guy! I remember that.
Me: Okay, well. Some people believe that God made the earth, and all of the people, a really long time ago.
(Husband interjects - 'Some people think we came from monkeys, though!' Lily proceeds to laugh hysterically and then ignore him.)
Lily: Well, who made God then? SOMEone had to make him, 'cause where would he come from?
Me: Hmm. I think God would have always been around. Forever and ever. He was just always there before anything else, since he made everything.
Lily: But I want to know where he CAME from. He had to come from somewhere, right?
Me: I guess it would kind of be like magic. He was just there without anyone having to make him.
Lily: And then he made everyone else like magic?
Me: Sort of, yeah. He made the very first people, and then we came from those people, some people think.
Lily: You know what I think?
Me: Nope. What?
Lily: I think that all of the first people came from God, and they were all robots!! He made these robots, and then the robots started to have babies, and then those babies were my Gramma!!! And then my Gramma had YOU.
Me: So you think Gramma is a robot?
Lily: *slowly grins*
Me: Well, okay. I don't think she's a robot. It's hard to say, though. Can robots have babies?
Lily: I think so. She had you, didn't she?
Me: Fair enough.
Lily: But I really don't want to have any babies. I don't want to grow up at all.
Me: Why not?
Lily: 'Cause! I don't wanna have a baby, like I SAID!
Me: Okay....why not? You don't have to, you know. Only if you want to, when you're older. A long time from now.
Lily: 'Cause it'll HURT. Didn't it hurt?
Me: It does, some. But I'm okay now, aren't I? I had you and your sister, and I love you both very much. And I'm okay now. The doctors take good care of you and give you lots of medicine if you need it. But you really don't have to worry about this right now.
Lily: Well what if I grow up and a baby just comes OUT of me?!
Me: It doesn't happen like that. You find a boy you love very much - someday - and maybe you get married, you love him so much. After that you decide if you want to have babies, and nothing happens until you decide you want to have one. Nothing happens all by itself.
Lily: *ponders this, scowling*
Me: You okay?
Lily: Yeah, I guess. I'll decide later.
*Nearby, sleeping three-month-old Munchkin awakes, wiggling around and making general noises of awakeness*
Lily: Maybe I should ask DrewDad about my hard questions too. I'm real smart. And see what he -
*She stops, eyes widening, and leaps straight up into a standing position, pointing at the baby*
Lily: Marceline just FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Collapses into hysterical laughter, tear-filled eyes and all. And then runs away*
Friday, November 9, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
Dragonball Logic.
(As passed on to me by The Husband - though I did witness this myself, too, and laughed hysterically throughout.)
Today after a little tirade about wanting to put all of our quarters in her bank and keep them, I told Lily that we had to save them for laundry and I needed them. She then proceeds to go get her stuffed green dragon and threw all of her change on the ground in front of it, and acted out a scene from Dragonball.
Lily: "Dragon, I gathered all of the dragon balls, and I'm ready to make a wish!"
Lily as dragon: "I'm awake little girl, what is your wish?"
Lily: "I wish for all of the quarters in the world!"
Lily then proceeds to stuff the dragon's mouth full of change and drop it on the ground in front of her.
Lily as dragon: "Your wish has been granted little girl, I'm going to sleep for one year now."
Me: "Don't the dragon balls have to scatter now?"........"Wait NOOOOOO!"
Lily as she throws change all over the house: "SCATTER! SCATTER! SCATTER!"
Learned my lesson.
Today after a little tirade about wanting to put all of our quarters in her bank and keep them, I told Lily that we had to save them for laundry and I needed them. She then proceeds to go get her stuffed green dragon and threw all of her change on the ground in front of it, and acted out a scene from Dragonball.
Lily: "Dragon, I gathered all of the dragon balls, and I'm ready to make a wish!"
Lily as dragon: "I'm awake little girl, what is your wish?"
Lily: "I wish for all of the quarters in the world!"
Lily then proceeds to stuff the dragon's mouth full of change and drop it on the ground in front of her.
Lily as dragon: "Your wish has been granted little girl, I'm going to sleep for one year now."
Me: "Don't the dragon balls have to scatter now?"........"Wait NOOOOOO!"
Lily as she throws change all over the house: "SCATTER! SCATTER! SCATTER!"
Learned my lesson.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Manners.
(Sitting at the computer, working on my online history class, I hear this exchange from a few feet down the hall.)
Unknown source: BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT! *giggle*
Lily: (clearly exasperated) Seriously, Drew? In my room?
(Long pause while The Husband continues to giggle at his bodily functions.)
Lily: (SIGHS) You should have just feeled it and gone out into the hallway! (More irritated sighing as she stomps out to the living room and sits with me in silence.)
....Seriously, Drew? In her room?
Unknown source: BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT! *giggle*
Lily: (clearly exasperated) Seriously, Drew? In my room?
(Long pause while The Husband continues to giggle at his bodily functions.)
Lily: (SIGHS) You should have just feeled it and gone out into the hallway! (More irritated sighing as she stomps out to the living room and sits with me in silence.)
....Seriously, Drew? In her room?
Friday, May 25, 2012
In the Beginning..
(After spending ten minutes or so playing Mario Kart, Lily suddenly grows very quiet and sets her controller down.)
Lily: Mumma, where did all the people come from? All the people in this town? Before they came to this town, and no one was here, and they were in the other town. And you were in the other town, and now you're here.
Me: Whatcha mean, kiddo? What people are you talking about?
Lily: Well, all of the people. I want to know where they all came from. Um, where did all the people come from? Like ALL the people, who are in this town right now, and came from somewhere else. Where were they all before they were here? I came from your tummy and you came from your mumma's tummy, where did all the other people come from? How did they all get here? What were they doing before they gotted here? And where did the animals came from? From the farm.. Probably cows, and ducks, and horses, and probably cats too like at your Grandpa's farm. How did all those animals get here? Wait, I think they all came from the store. I think the horses and cows and chickens - well, the chickens came from the close thingy where all those thingys were, my dad leaves down this road, and turn like this like an L, and park somewhere and go inside, and there's chickens and ducks.
Me: Go on, I'm listening.
Lily: And I wanna learn about where all the, um, the, um, fans came from. The blowing fans came from the store, too, I think. And oh wait, I know where animals come from. Even outside at my school, there was a big cow. It was there. And sheep! Like Baa Baa Black Sheep! *sings the entire song*
Lily: That might be it. And make you sure put two periods at the end of this, please..
Lily: Mumma, where did all the people come from? All the people in this town? Before they came to this town, and no one was here, and they were in the other town. And you were in the other town, and now you're here.
Me: Whatcha mean, kiddo? What people are you talking about?
Lily: Well, all of the people. I want to know where they all came from. Um, where did all the people come from? Like ALL the people, who are in this town right now, and came from somewhere else. Where were they all before they were here? I came from your tummy and you came from your mumma's tummy, where did all the other people come from? How did they all get here? What were they doing before they gotted here? And where did the animals came from? From the farm.. Probably cows, and ducks, and horses, and probably cats too like at your Grandpa's farm. How did all those animals get here? Wait, I think they all came from the store. I think the horses and cows and chickens - well, the chickens came from the close thingy where all those thingys were, my dad leaves down this road, and turn like this like an L, and park somewhere and go inside, and there's chickens and ducks.
Me: Go on, I'm listening.
Lily: And I wanna learn about where all the, um, the, um, fans came from. The blowing fans came from the store, too, I think. And oh wait, I know where animals come from. Even outside at my school, there was a big cow. It was there. And sheep! Like Baa Baa Black Sheep! *sings the entire song*
Lily: That might be it. And make you sure put two periods at the end of this, please..
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
On Tolkien.
(Watching Fellowship of the Rings. Though I've had it on countless times, this was the first that she actually watched it.)
Lily, on......
Hobbits: Are those guys kids? (She fixates on Sam for a moment) Is that a girl? She looks like a girl with girl hair, but sounds like boys do. (Eyes Frodo suspiciously) Do they get married at the end?
Gandalf's fireworks: WHOA! I want some of those! Can we do those sometime? (I tell her that they are wizard fireworks - we might have trouble making them) He's a whizzer? Like Harry Potter? Is Harry on here too?
The One Ring: Okay. So that's a bad ring or a good ring? It looks scary. (Watches ring get thrown in fire, studies Elvish lettering thoughtfully) That's preeeeetty! How'd it do that? I don't think Brodo (Yep.) should give it away.
Black Riders: Why are they chasing those kids everywhere?! I hate that noise they make! RUN KIDS!
Dwarves: Those look like bad guys. (Points to Legolas) I like them better, I wouldn't stand by the dwards.
The Balrog: MY EYES ARE EXPLODING! Ahhhhhh! Mumma, my eyes are exploding all over right now because of that monster. I can't look! (Seconds later, in a matter-of-fact tone..) Hey. He has a whipper. You know, just like Catwoman has. He's using his whipper on that Dumbledorf guy. I like whippers.
Gollum: What's wrong with that guy? He's bad. Is he going to get the good guys? Why's he following them in the caves? They should all turn around and push him down one of the holes.
Arwen: I like her the best. She's magic. I'm gonna be her right now, okay? (Prances around the room, grabbing her fairy tiara and wand) PSSSSSH! I turned you into a kitty! Say meow!
Gandalf's fall into Moria: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GANONDORF!!!!!!
(She falls asleep as the Fellowship enters Lothlorien. I don't blame her.)
Lily, on......
Hobbits: Are those guys kids? (She fixates on Sam for a moment) Is that a girl? She looks like a girl with girl hair, but sounds like boys do. (Eyes Frodo suspiciously) Do they get married at the end?
Gandalf's fireworks: WHOA! I want some of those! Can we do those sometime? (I tell her that they are wizard fireworks - we might have trouble making them) He's a whizzer? Like Harry Potter? Is Harry on here too?
The One Ring: Okay. So that's a bad ring or a good ring? It looks scary. (Watches ring get thrown in fire, studies Elvish lettering thoughtfully) That's preeeeetty! How'd it do that? I don't think Brodo (Yep.) should give it away.
Black Riders: Why are they chasing those kids everywhere?! I hate that noise they make! RUN KIDS!
Dwarves: Those look like bad guys. (Points to Legolas) I like them better, I wouldn't stand by the dwards.
The Balrog: MY EYES ARE EXPLODING! Ahhhhhh! Mumma, my eyes are exploding all over right now because of that monster. I can't look! (Seconds later, in a matter-of-fact tone..) Hey. He has a whipper. You know, just like Catwoman has. He's using his whipper on that Dumbledorf guy. I like whippers.
Gollum: What's wrong with that guy? He's bad. Is he going to get the good guys? Why's he following them in the caves? They should all turn around and push him down one of the holes.
Arwen: I like her the best. She's magic. I'm gonna be her right now, okay? (Prances around the room, grabbing her fairy tiara and wand) PSSSSSH! I turned you into a kitty! Say meow!
Gandalf's fall into Moria: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GANONDORF!!!!!!
(She falls asleep as the Fellowship enters Lothlorien. I don't blame her.)
Friday, May 4, 2012
Naptime Interlude
4:45 p.m. - Naptime Prep begins.
Me: All right! We have full tummies, aren't thirsty, went potty, and are in comfy clothes; we're ready to get in bed. Need anything?
Lily: No. Actually, yes. I have to go get a soft toy.
(She runs to her bedroom, rummages around for ten minutes, comes back with a gargantuan stuffed bunny.)
Me: Okay. Let's get all covered up and relaxed. If we take a quick nap, you'll be awake by the time Drewdad gets home. And you won't feel so grumpy!
Lily: I don't want to be covered. I hate this blanket. (She kicks it off.) Are these new pillows?
Me: Okay. And no, it's just a new pillowcase. How 'bout you trying laying down and seeing if you can sleep?
Lily: I can't. My eyes are not tired. And the TV is saying I have to stay awake right now. It's MAKING me.
(I turn the TV off.)
Me: Better?
Lily: Yeah. (Tosses and turns uncomfortably for a few minutes before sitting up.) Those window blind things are going crazy. They're making me stay awake too.
(I look over to the one window blind that's rustling, since the window's open an inch or two behind it.)
Me: Well, we might get too hot if I shut the window. Let's just try to ignore it.
Lily: Now I'm really hungry. I'm hungry! Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry... (This turns into a chant.) I want cereal. Just dry cereal to snack on. No, wait. With milk. Go get me milk and cereal.
(I stare at her, bemused - she's just eaten a massive turkey sandwich.)
Me: Honey, you can grab a few handfuls of dry cereal. Then lay down. You just ate, and we can have dinner when you wake up.
Lily: (SIGH) Fine. I'm eating that now. But I want ice cream after I wake up. You SAID I could after I had lunch. You SAID. You have to keep your promises and be trustworthy like at my school.
Me: Maybe if you keep your promise and try to nap. (I wait for fifteen minutes, while she eats frenziedly.) Okay. Let's try again.
5:30 p.m.
Lily: Thirsty! Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty....
Me: ........Your juicebox is right next to you. Take a drink and lie down. I love you, and want you to get some rest! (I re-tuck her in, kiss her forehead, and get settled on the couch nearby.)
Lily: .....My thumb tickles. REALLY BAD. Right under the nail. It tiiiiiiiiiickles! I can't sleep with it. I can't take it anymore! (Tosses and turns, bites at thumb, sits up.) Can you tickle my back?
(Resigned, I sit next to her and tickle her back for twenty minutes. She suddenly burrows under her blankets entirely.)
Lily: I like it under here. I want to pop out and scare Drew when he gets home. I'll scream BOOOO! and you scream BLAAAAAH! And for now I'm just staying under here.
Me: Lil, it's super hot under there. And now you're upside-down. I think you should come out and sleep the right way.
Lily: It is NOT hot. It's FINE. I like it here. I wanna sleep here every night now. (Starts sobbing hysterically)
6:15 p.m.
(I uncover her a little, not without some effort. The crying stops and she giggles.)
Me: Go. To. Sleep. Dad said you got really tired from school and the long car trip, and that it looked like you really needed to nap. I think he was right. We'll make dinner and do your cool bath-paint stuff when you're all done!
Lily: I caaaaan't. I really can't! I don't want any sleep. Not ANY. (She flips onto her back and stares at the ceiling with dinner-plate eyes to prove her point.) I don't hafta take naps at school and I don't wanna take them here, either.
Me: Well, we have to. I'll stay right here and read my book while you sleep. Okay?
(No response. She's out cold.)
Me: All right! We have full tummies, aren't thirsty, went potty, and are in comfy clothes; we're ready to get in bed. Need anything?
Lily: No. Actually, yes. I have to go get a soft toy.
(She runs to her bedroom, rummages around for ten minutes, comes back with a gargantuan stuffed bunny.)
Me: Okay. Let's get all covered up and relaxed. If we take a quick nap, you'll be awake by the time Drewdad gets home. And you won't feel so grumpy!
Lily: I don't want to be covered. I hate this blanket. (She kicks it off.) Are these new pillows?
Me: Okay. And no, it's just a new pillowcase. How 'bout you trying laying down and seeing if you can sleep?
Lily: I can't. My eyes are not tired. And the TV is saying I have to stay awake right now. It's MAKING me.
(I turn the TV off.)
Me: Better?
Lily: Yeah. (Tosses and turns uncomfortably for a few minutes before sitting up.) Those window blind things are going crazy. They're making me stay awake too.
(I look over to the one window blind that's rustling, since the window's open an inch or two behind it.)
Me: Well, we might get too hot if I shut the window. Let's just try to ignore it.
Lily: Now I'm really hungry. I'm hungry! Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry... (This turns into a chant.) I want cereal. Just dry cereal to snack on. No, wait. With milk. Go get me milk and cereal.
(I stare at her, bemused - she's just eaten a massive turkey sandwich.)
Me: Honey, you can grab a few handfuls of dry cereal. Then lay down. You just ate, and we can have dinner when you wake up.
Lily: (SIGH) Fine. I'm eating that now. But I want ice cream after I wake up. You SAID I could after I had lunch. You SAID. You have to keep your promises and be trustworthy like at my school.
Me: Maybe if you keep your promise and try to nap. (I wait for fifteen minutes, while she eats frenziedly.) Okay. Let's try again.
5:30 p.m.
Lily: Thirsty! Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty....
Me: ........Your juicebox is right next to you. Take a drink and lie down. I love you, and want you to get some rest! (I re-tuck her in, kiss her forehead, and get settled on the couch nearby.)
Lily: .....My thumb tickles. REALLY BAD. Right under the nail. It tiiiiiiiiiickles! I can't sleep with it. I can't take it anymore! (Tosses and turns, bites at thumb, sits up.) Can you tickle my back?
(Resigned, I sit next to her and tickle her back for twenty minutes. She suddenly burrows under her blankets entirely.)
Lily: I like it under here. I want to pop out and scare Drew when he gets home. I'll scream BOOOO! and you scream BLAAAAAH! And for now I'm just staying under here.
Me: Lil, it's super hot under there. And now you're upside-down. I think you should come out and sleep the right way.
Lily: It is NOT hot. It's FINE. I like it here. I wanna sleep here every night now. (Starts sobbing hysterically)
6:15 p.m.
(I uncover her a little, not without some effort. The crying stops and she giggles.)
Me: Go. To. Sleep. Dad said you got really tired from school and the long car trip, and that it looked like you really needed to nap. I think he was right. We'll make dinner and do your cool bath-paint stuff when you're all done!
Lily: I caaaaan't. I really can't! I don't want any sleep. Not ANY. (She flips onto her back and stares at the ceiling with dinner-plate eyes to prove her point.) I don't hafta take naps at school and I don't wanna take them here, either.
Me: Well, we have to. I'll stay right here and read my book while you sleep. Okay?
(No response. She's out cold.)
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Gun Safety
Overheard during Bath Time..
Lily: Hurry mouse, get on the boat!
A toy paintbrush serves as the boat for a very pink plastic mouse, which proceeds to drive a few inches away from my nose.
Lily: Good thing this boat is here. You might sink. Mouses don't like to swim.
The paintbrush is given a wild flourish, poking me in the eye a few times for good measure.
Me: Shouldn't you try driving the boat over at THAT end of the tub? You'll have more room to sail.
Lily: Nope. I like it this way.
Paintbrush is flailed around a few more times with loud zooms, and she manages to poke herself in the eye during this.
Lily: ARGH! I don't want to do this anymore. I know what I should do.
The paintbrush is suddenly pointed at me, and loud gunshots are fired from one end.
Me: What was that? Did it break?
Lily: No. It shooted you. It's a G-word. You know.
Me: No, what?
Lily: A G-U-N. It shooted you because it was mad.
Me: Do you know what one of those really is? Guns aren't nice toys for kids. Or for anybody, really. They can hurt people.
Lily: I know. Only boys play with them. Except for Katie. Katie LOVES guns and shoots everyone at school.
Me: Well...I don't think we should play pretend about things that hurt people. It's not nice.
Lily: Katie does it. I'm going to love whatever she loves.
Me: Let's just try something else for right now. We're not going to pretend about mean toys here.
Several moments are spent where her brow is furrowed deeply in thought.
Lily: All right. I'm pretending it's a sword now. I can stab with it.
Me: I don't think so. That's still not very nice. Try something else.
Lily: Fine. Now it's a kitty-scratcher, so I can claw the eyes out of stuff.
Me: Try again. I don't think we should play any of those things. Do you know what can happen when people use things like guns and swords to hurt people?
Lily: Yup. They die. It's like getting knocked out for a very very very long time. And then we bury them.
Me: Well, yes, that CAN happen. That's why it's not safe or nice to pretend to hurt people -
Lily: And they're buried in the GROUND, and then WORMS eat them, and, and -
Me: Wait! Hey. Where did you hear all of that?
Lily: Well, I picked up a worm by the garbage can at school. They live underground. It was all sandy and grody.
Me: Oh. They do live underground, you're right. But what made you think -
Lily: Then I buried it again. I put a bunch of sand on top of it before all the boys could jump on it. It was sort of alive still. Worms are gross. I didn't want to eat it. Now I have to go to the bathroom.
She jumps out of the tub, leaving me to collect my thoughts.
Lily: Hurry mouse, get on the boat!
A toy paintbrush serves as the boat for a very pink plastic mouse, which proceeds to drive a few inches away from my nose.
Lily: Good thing this boat is here. You might sink. Mouses don't like to swim.
The paintbrush is given a wild flourish, poking me in the eye a few times for good measure.
Me: Shouldn't you try driving the boat over at THAT end of the tub? You'll have more room to sail.
Lily: Nope. I like it this way.
Paintbrush is flailed around a few more times with loud zooms, and she manages to poke herself in the eye during this.
Lily: ARGH! I don't want to do this anymore. I know what I should do.
The paintbrush is suddenly pointed at me, and loud gunshots are fired from one end.
Me: What was that? Did it break?
Lily: No. It shooted you. It's a G-word. You know.
Me: No, what?
Lily: A G-U-N. It shooted you because it was mad.
Me: Do you know what one of those really is? Guns aren't nice toys for kids. Or for anybody, really. They can hurt people.
Lily: I know. Only boys play with them. Except for Katie. Katie LOVES guns and shoots everyone at school.
Me: Well...I don't think we should play pretend about things that hurt people. It's not nice.
Lily: Katie does it. I'm going to love whatever she loves.
Me: Let's just try something else for right now. We're not going to pretend about mean toys here.
Several moments are spent where her brow is furrowed deeply in thought.
Lily: All right. I'm pretending it's a sword now. I can stab with it.
Me: I don't think so. That's still not very nice. Try something else.
Lily: Fine. Now it's a kitty-scratcher, so I can claw the eyes out of stuff.
Me: Try again. I don't think we should play any of those things. Do you know what can happen when people use things like guns and swords to hurt people?
Lily: Yup. They die. It's like getting knocked out for a very very very long time. And then we bury them.
Me: Well, yes, that CAN happen. That's why it's not safe or nice to pretend to hurt people -
Lily: And they're buried in the GROUND, and then WORMS eat them, and, and -
Me: Wait! Hey. Where did you hear all of that?
Lily: Well, I picked up a worm by the garbage can at school. They live underground. It was all sandy and grody.
Me: Oh. They do live underground, you're right. But what made you think -
Lily: Then I buried it again. I put a bunch of sand on top of it before all the boys could jump on it. It was sort of alive still. Worms are gross. I didn't want to eat it. Now I have to go to the bathroom.
She jumps out of the tub, leaving me to collect my thoughts.
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